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22nd November 2005

3:15pm:

Thank you for offering me your coat, James Rubino.




"All She Wrote"

Something's wrong with your mind
It won't think of me anymore
Was it all a waste of time
Tell me why was I such a chore
Broken bottles empty
Cut my mouth so I can't say

Today was that day
It was that time
And that was all that she wrote for me
You fell away
I don't know why
And that was all that she wrote for me

Lying here in your bed
The one that you liked to do it in
Pieces of long brown hair
Are all over it and still in my brain
i can't explain
What it's like not knowing if I'll ever cross your mind

Today was that day
It was that time
And that was all that she wrote for me
You fell away
I don't know why
And that was all that she wrote for me

Sleep through the day
Fight through the night
Seven a.m. and the tv is white
Covered in snow
I never knew that hell could get so cold

Today was that day
It was that time
And that was all that she wrote for me
You fell away
I don't know why
And that was all that she wrote for me

Today was that day
It was that time
And that was all that she wrote for me
You fell away
I don't know why
And that was all that she wrote for me

Something's wrong with your mind
It won't think of me anymore
Was it all a waste of time

20th August 2005

6:15am: Yeah! work at 6:30!

16th August 2005

9:47pm: So.
I was being kinda lame and watching The Real World. One of the cast members' mom dies and there are like two consectutive shows about it and how much it sucks for him. It kind of got me thinking like yeah I'm glad I've got my parents then I was like... but my grandmother isn't going to make it all that much longer. Then I started worrying like ... I wonder if she's hot/cold or has a headache or pain in her hip... as if she was my child. I guess this is self centered but I really hope she makes it through my school year and many more to come but I feel if she died during my year that I really just wouldnt pass the quarter. When she had her stroke I didn't go to school, I spent every day from 7am-11pm with her at her side at St.Anns. I didn't eat anything because I was upset and felt like... I wish I could take any pain she's having and give it to myself.
I realize everyone has a time to pass, but she would be my first death in the family. I would have the hardest time coping with it. My aunt lives with her, I don't know what she would do without her... I just kinda got scared. Now I can't stop crying and to be even more vain, my pictures are getting taken tomorrow.

8th August 2005

5:47pm: My brother Mikey, dead lifted 420lbs....
Mike-deadlift420lbs...benced 330lbs....
benched 330and won the lifting competition in the 165lb weight class at the fair.
winner

4th August 2005

5:45am: mmmm this is the coolest feeling ever. im soo o high from the anesthesia and pain killers.

but ow... it hurts... i tried to eat sherbert around noon..but my lip was/is still numb,,,,

poo
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